The Adventure Begins, for Real This Time Or, Let's All Rock the Heist

    Jesus Christ, lots of shit happened today. So many things from so many perspectives, it wouldn't be suitable nor do the adventure justice to have it all be told by one person. As such, this journal will be told from a third-person perspective.

    The heroes, and I'm only calling them that because they were at least mildly heroic at this point, started the day by wondering where the hell Livy wandered off to (we still don't know where that is). They were hanging out in the tavern in the middle of the night, while Crow, the Swashbuckler we recently made friends with, was semi-passed out, semi-drunk. The moment Wolfeye walks downstairs and closes up for the night, a Dwarf bursts through the wall, yelling about how the Heroes' allies, Dwarf-Lord Mordekai and his troops, were taking Tamait Peak and needed the heroes help to finalize the siege. Not bothering to ask that many questions, the heroes proceeded to Tamait Peak. Enter Tamait Peak 2: Electric Boogaloo.

    The first room, which was actually the outside of the mountain itself, was barricaded heavily, but there were eight tigers behind it, trying to get out. With the help of the dwarves who were outside the barricades firing in, the Heroes dispatched the tigers with relative ease. The second room, which would have been familiar were it not that the party was all-new to this dungeon, was the slim hallway which has a u-turn in it, making the shape of a C. This room had a Human Knife Fighter and two Human Pirates, who did quite the number on the party. Ness was killed off, and Harken knocked unconscious, but eventually the heroes puled through. The third room, which I'm calling the Stupid Room, was stupid stupid dumb, on Ness' part. While the rest of the party was hanging around having their extended rest on account of the previous battle's difficulty, Ness decided to try to sneak off ahead by himself, although Wince followed him. Nearly being killed by one Gnoll Gorger, Ness decided to use his armor of breaching to teleport through the wall. Not through the wall to safety, no. The wall which led into more enemies, who laughed quite hard and swiftly dealt out a righteous asskicking to Ness. Wince, being as good of backup as he is, actually managed to fell a few of them, but still gave three of the Gnoll Gorgers a chance to run in to the room where the remainder of the party was resting. Being gambling folk, Crow and Harken decided to challenge the Gnolls to a dice game for their lives. The Gnolls lost, and were consequentially allowed to flee. Meanwhile, in the next room over, Wince had just finished intimidating an entire group of Gnolls into shitting their pants and absconding as fast as they could. Deliberately leaving Ness dead and stuffing him into a chest, the heroes proceeded into the next room.

    Ah, the good ol' Ankheg room. Gotta love Ankhegs. I'm not even really going to describe it. Nobody died, but it was a close match. As the heroes were about to run away and admit defeat, the Dwarf-Lord came to save their asses. In the next room, the Dwarf-Lord had already slain all the enemies, but there were two doors, so the heroes headed into one door and Mordekai into the other. For the heroes, the next room would be their last.

    That is to say, it was a boss fight. An expertly performed boss fight, if I may say so myself. The encounter was the noble who'd taken the mountain, teamed up with two Owlbears which he had tamed. The noble was slain on the first round, right off the bat, due to two powerful hits from Wince and Crow. Crow then did an 4CROB4T1C FUCK1NG P1ROU3TT3 onto one of the remaining Owlbears, giving it a sound punch to the snout to establish his superiority. With that decisive blow, Crow had tamed the Owlbear. Lacking it's allies, with it's only friend turned against it, the remaining Owlbear was quick to flee. Long story short, Mordekai thanked the heroes and awarded them with a Jade the size of Wince's fist.

    The heroes, taking their loot and doing various stupid things with it, quickly got bored. This prompted a string of events which has led them to their current situation. Firstly, Wince snapped. I mean, he's always been a little crazy, but he slaughtered an entire orphanage, minus two children, along with the Baron of the town. These orphans were then adopted by the heroes. Douglass Von Ezio, a young Drow, is now being taught the ropes of assassination, while Jade, a Medusa (don't ask why orphanages stock medusas) is learning to become a ranger.

    After this, the heroes minus Wince pulled a heist of a jewelry store in the port town of Kcod, and got off with thousands of GP in jewels. Douglass was a vital part of the heist, even if he IS level 1/2 (poisons, bitches). While the main group was doing this, Wince kidnapped the duke's daughter, and the heroes then held her for 10000GP in ransom money, and made off with it, escaping to the town on the other side of the continent. The heroes decided to buy a greatship, and headed off to the Tavern to recruit people to crew it.

Tavernbent and Tamait 2

Another game on Thursday, June 23, 2011. Same place, 11:00~11:00, everybody bring all your stuff. Books, laptops/netbooks, sense of humor, any of the usual stuff as well. Becca's not going to be there due to her week long absence to Miramichi, but Nick will be on time this week. Be there or be square!

-DM

Zan-Kyri Journal 004: honk HONK honk

So, My Good Bro Alban Asked Me to Pin Up a Journal Entry on the Cork-Board,

     This was just like, the weirdest few weeks ever, brother. First of all, I'm just about to get my god damned cake I've been trying to ask somebody for for weeks, and eight guys just outta freakin' nowhere and start preaching about how, "Blah, blah, our leader was kidnapped." and then they offer us like 6000GP to go find him. In the end, it turns out that they're this group of people octet called the Roulf Octet, and their eighth member, Waltz got taken by some rowdy group of teenagers bandits while he was looking for some magical artifact or something, probably not important, my brother.

     So anyways, we head on over to this bandit camp after searching around for like three freaking hours, and it's, of course, a huge wall that nobody can get through. So Wince, this cool human guy, gets stuck on the outside of the wall, and there's the one guy sitting there taking shots at him with a crossbow, missing every. Freaking. Time. Anyways, eventually, we killed all the bandits and got Waltz, and he told us to go check the leader's body because the leader had a letter. So we grab the letter and, guess the plan was to release Waltz anyways. But, long story short, we had to go to ANOTHER bandit camp, where we subjugated a bunch more people.

     We get into this cave after a while, right, and Harken (the angry Bard guy who's really mean) challenges the Bandit Leader to a Guitar Battle. Now, it was just prior discovered that the item which Waltz was searching for was a Magical Guitar, known as the Metal Axe, which is a pretty funny name, being a guitar, right bro? Anyways, Harken and the Bandit Leader have this guitar duel for like, 35 seconds flat, and then the leader transforms into a sound dragon. Yeah, just outta nowhere, kind of like a freakin miracle or something. So we kill slay the dragon, the ass hole runs off with the guitar axe magic thing. Wounded, bleeding, pretty much dead, he very well just falls over right where he was standing. So anyways, happy ending, Harken hass the Metal Axe, which he was apparently searching for his entire life. CoNgRaTs, BrO!

     You'd think that, being the end of a dungeon, the journal would end right there. That is not the case this time. Holy...

...god...

...cake...

...

...

...I'M BACK, MOTHER FUCKERS. WHERE WAS I? RIGHT, THE NEXT DUNGEON WE DID. HEHEHE, THIS ONE'S PRETTY GOOD. MY GOOD BROTHERS AND I, MY GOOD BROTHERS I SAY, MY GOOD BROTHERS AND I, WE'RE JUST SITTING OUT IN THE TAVERN HAVING A GOOD DRINK WITH ALL THAT FAT LOOT THE BROAD AND HER SEVEN FRIENDS GAVE US, RIGHT, WHEN WOLFEYE COMES IN AND HES JUST LIKE, "DUDE, THERE'S A GROUP OF ORCS FUCKING UP SOME VILLAGES," SO MOST OF US WERE JUST LIKE, "WELL SHIT. LETS GO SAVE EM ALL." SO WE WENT AND WE GOT TO THE ORC VILLAGE, READY TO FUCK THEIR SHIT UP, RIGHT? TURNS OUT SOME BASTARD BEAT US THERE, KILLED ALL THE ORCS DAMN WELL FOR US, THE FUCKER DID, AND RAN RIGHT OFF WITH ALL OUR LOOT. SO ANYWAYS, WE GET THERE, BROTHER, JUST FUCKIN RAGING, AND THIS GOD DAMNED ORC COMES OUT ALL BEING A PUSSY AND BEGGING FOR A GOOD SUBJUGATION, AND HE SOMEHOW CONVINCES MY MEATHEADED FUCKTARD TEAMMATES TO HEAD INTO THE MINE AND GO SEEK OUT THE FUCKER WHO DID OUR JOB FOR US.

WE HEAD INTO THE MINE, TINY LITTLE 35' BY 35' ROOMS, BUNCH OF GNOLLS, SO I GOT MY MURDER ON AND WE WHOOPED THEIR ASSES FAIR AND SQUARE. POOR FUCKERS IM DRAGGING AROUND HARDLY KNOW WHAT TO DO WITHOUT ME. AFTER A WHILE HARKEN GOT SOME FUCKIN CLAWS, LOOK REAL STUPID. WE WENT THROUGH THREE MORE FLOORS OF HARDCORE SLAUGHTER AND WE FINALLY GOT TO THE BOTTOM FLOOR.

EVEN THOUGH THE ROOM WASNT MINED OUT, SOME TALL CRIMSON HAIRED FUCK WAS HANGING AROUND THERE ANYWAYS. HE LAUGHS AND SHOWS US THE PIECE OF THE PRISM WHICH WAS DOWN THERE, TELEPORTS IT RIGHT AWAY. AFTER SOME COCKY LINES ABOUT HOW WE WERE GONNA DIE, WE ALL GOT OUR STRIFE ON. HE PRETTY MUCH SAT AROUND WHOOPING WINCE'S ASS FOR LIKE THREE TURNS, AND THEN HE TURNS AROUND AND HITS THE ENTIRE PARTY'S WEAK POINT FOR MASSIVE DAMAGE. I SAID MASSIVE DAMAGE, MOTHER FUCKERS. ANYWAYS, THE DICKBAG JUST WALKS OUT ON US ABOUT 24 SECONDS IN, WINCE SAYS HE RECOGNIZES THE GUY FROM HIS VILLAGE, WHICH BURNT LIKE A FUCKIN BITCH. ANYWAYS, WE GET THIS GUY CORNERED, HE LEAVES, JUST LIKE THAT. AFTER ALL THE SHIT WENT DOWN, WE GOT OUT OF THE MINES AND GOT SOME TREASURE, AND THEN HEADED DOWN TO THE TAVERN TO HAVE OURSELVES SOME BEER AND ALE, AND I JUST HAD MYSELF A CAKE. I THINK IM GONNA GO FUCK SOMEBODY UP.