Alban's Journal 002: Sam Fisher, Some Assembly Required

Dear Journal,
    Could we all take a moment of silence for my beloved brother, who died during our excavation to Tamait Peak...

    ...

    Thank you. Now that we're done with that, I guess I can start from the beginning. When we last left off, I was being attacked by a dragon. Proceeding that, I was attacked by another dragon. Then, we were saved by a dragon and then it tried to attack me but decided against it. Also, some time around here, Rickets decided to become a Luchador. No freaking clue what that means, but if it motivates him into fighting things instead of getting me killed, I guess I'm okay with it.

    Now for an explanation of the above paragraph. First and foremost, we'd just returned from the mighty-but-somewhat-of-a-pushover Ruins of Whatever-They're-Called, where we recovered the not-so-but-someday-will-be-powerful Prism of Io. For those of you who have no idea who Io is, Io was the mighty Dragon King before he got torn in half. The pieces became the Gods, Tiamat and Bahamut. According to Chris, who I'll introduce later, there was a third piece when he was split, and it became the six pieces of the Prism of Io. Alone, the pieces do absolutely frig-all, but apparently when assembled into one, that one thing could be sold for 50000000 Astral Diamonds, or for you poor common folk who aren't rich, that's five billion gold pieces.

    Nevertheless, we were just returning from those Ruins with the first part of the Prism. Suddenly and out of nowhere, this group of Kobolds, which I could have sworn were Goblins, accompanied by some wussy little black dragon, attacked us. We won easily; however, we forgot that where there's a baby, there's a mother. Much to all of our dismay, this time the mother just happened to be a huge black dragon. Rickets, being the most expendable, easy to manipulate, and impressionable, was ordered/decided to stay behind to fight it by himself while the remainder of us fled. Boldly hiding in a bush nearby like a man, I was watching and waiting for the right moment to strike. Yeah, that's what I was doing. Anyways, Rickets, as expected, gets cut nearly into two pieces with one fell attack from the huge bastard dragon. He still stands back up, yelling something about how Luchas never back down from a fight. This whole time he's practically dead there, nearly passing out merely from the amount of oily-black magic blood spilling from his torso, ribs, stomach, legs, arms, head, throat, ankles, wrists, forarms, fingers, toes, biceps, triceps, and left ass cheek. Although I guess he kind of looked like a moron, it was all very noble and heroic of him, foolishly thinking he'd buy us time so we could outrun the freaking dragon. Oh, and this entire time, Sam is just taking a nap on the ground, by the way.

    So anyways, as the black dragon is about to get a brutality kill on Rickets, another dragon swoops in and kicks the everliving tar out of it. This dragon is silver. So after it's brutally finished maiming his draconic brother in cold blood for no apparent reason, the bastard transforms into an Eladrin, which was cool and all. So he shakes Ricket's hand and Rickets topples over in exhaustion and shock, but of course not before revealing my location. So the Eladrin drags me out of the bush and confronts me, yelling gibberish and curse words in Draconic at me. Eventually, we figured out how to communicate like civil humanoid beings and it was established that his name is GRAAAGH RAAARG CRAAAAGH, which is Draconic for Chris, or something really close to it. He told us to head to Tamait Peak, which is a nearby mountain, and retrieve the next piece of the Prism of Io. Diligently and with great haste, we decided to head back to the town for a while.

    Sam still in a coma and me casting Sleep on Livy, Rickets and I decided to go do some hardcore burglary. That ended terribly, I got killed, Sam, freshly woke up, almost got killed, Rickets was imprisoned, but we ended up sweet talking our way out of it, minus me, who was dead. My brother was also a Dampyr and tried to god damned eat me like the unloved bastard child he is.

    After all of these terrible distractions, we eventually decided to just head over to Tamait Peak already. We got it a big fight with a bunch of bird guys outside the door, and we put swords through them like the crows they were. There's not much which is better than putting a sword through a crow. After taking a brief break, we headed in.

Entrance to Tamait Peak

    The first room was an exceedingly narrow hallway conveniently filled with undead creatures, which is fortunate because two of our party members are extremely skilled at killing undead things, specifically. It was all very quick and well done, and I don't think that the enemies actually managed to hit any of us

First Room, Tamait Peak

    The next room went significantly worse. It was large and outdoors, and I noticed a gnoll up the stairs, which wasn't really of any concern. We quickly dealt in all of the enemies, and I fell off of the cliff due to Rickets covering the area with butter. Three cheers for Feather Fall!

Second Room, Tamait Peak

    The next room, which I'll just call the trap hut, was... I can't even formulate a sentence about how unfathomably huge of a moron everybody except Rickets, including myself. First, we notice a bunch of odd, flickering Kobolds at the end of a hallway. Instead of doing the smart thing and sending the FREAKING Rogue, OR the Paladin in, Livy just charges on in while pounding on her chest with one hand and yelling, "I'm a huge moron, I love getting lit on fire!" so of course, as soon as she said it, CLICK, flamethrowers. So instead of doing the logical thing and stop, drop, roll, she just keeps going, steps on another freaking trap, gets loaded with arrows, keeps running, collapses in spasms on the ground, the Kobolds run. At this point, Sam just kamikazes in, at LEAST having the courtesy to disarm the flamethrowers blocking our way. Somehow and by Gods-know what miracle, we managed to make it through the room and take a break. Even though I kind of wanted to club Livy in the back of the head and throw her off the side of the mountain for being a freakin' moron and nearly getting us all killed minus Rickets, we decided to keep her around, which ended up being a good thing...

The Trap Room, Tamait Peak

...in the next room. Basically, Sam got tossed off the cliff and died instantly, I was half-eaten alive to death, Rickets almost died, and Livy was stayin' alive, hardly taking any damage. We were against two Ant Hegs, and I can't exactly describe the battle as I was too busy being dead. Sam was in many pieces at the bottom of the cliff, but thankfully, I was resurrected.

Room Where We Didn't Win, Tamait Peak

    May he rest in pieces. Moron.